Monday, 31 January 2011

Never winning

I have a couple of topics I want to discuss today. 1st is the "you have too much sparetime", a comment I apparantly have earned a lot these days since I get it a lot. I get it from my roomie who most ofently drops it when I'm doing my nails. (I'm crazily into nailart and spend a lot of timI e on it) Not that it bothers me a lot but it stiiiiil kind of does. I don't actually know if it's an insulting or just a joke. Obviously the 1st she said it is was funny and all but since she's said it other times as well I'm kind of thinking that it isn't a joke. I've tried to explain her how I prioritize my time but I don't know, she's just always really busy and I hate being that so I take time off to relax aaaaand I'm just really lazy at nature as well.

Another thing I want to discuss is boys, especially boys after break-ups. Why is it that very often when a guys is heartbroken and shit after a break up they have this weird theory that either they'll find another girl really quickly to "cure" them of their broken heart or they'll go into celibacy? I just find that really strange, why can't they just deal with the problem like all other normal GIIIIRLS, be heartbroken and then get over it? Sometimes guys have such weird relationships with girls. For instanse when they have a really good friend who's a girl and maybe even call her they're "twin" it always bothers me like hell! I don't know if I should hate that girl or not. (When I'm dating the guy of course) My 1st boyfriend Nicklas had this really good friend called Rebecca (ugh) who I hated and still do! They're were all like twiiiins and sister and brother and all that crap, it really bothered me! And she was SO on the limit (and so was he), she send pictures of herself wearing really short skirts and her long brown legs.. (bitch), she also send a kind of naked picture, she claims that it wasn't for him and that one of her friends had sent it when she was drunk. I still hated her, and still do. Even though I'm not with that guy anymore I still do not forget stupid girls, places and stuff, but neither do I forget the good things.

About Nicklas. I think I'll to give up, not kidding. My feelings are starting to get tepid. I'm not so sure, I also feel like he has a lot of feelings he's hiding, and the never been in love thing? It's just hard. I have the feeling I'm never going to win with him. But jesus I love that guy, he's amazing. But he might just be as amazing as a friend. (He actually just told me that he prefers to be single because he ignores the girl when they become a couple, he has some inner issues that boy)
I'm kinda getting desperate, I think set my mind on something (Nicklas, kissing etc.) and not getting kind of makes me crazy. The other day I was lying in my bed, thinking about the times when I had a boyfriend. I actually really like being in a relationship, I'm the relationship kind of girl I think. I like getting good memories, having someone to write with and just knowing that I have someone to depend on. Oh how I miss a boyfriend. Anyways, I'll slide, xoxo Elk

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