Monday, 31 January 2011

Never winning

I have a couple of topics I want to discuss today. 1st is the "you have too much sparetime", a comment I apparantly have earned a lot these days since I get it a lot. I get it from my roomie who most ofently drops it when I'm doing my nails. (I'm crazily into nailart and spend a lot of timI e on it) Not that it bothers me a lot but it stiiiiil kind of does. I don't actually know if it's an insulting or just a joke. Obviously the 1st she said it is was funny and all but since she's said it other times as well I'm kind of thinking that it isn't a joke. I've tried to explain her how I prioritize my time but I don't know, she's just always really busy and I hate being that so I take time off to relax aaaaand I'm just really lazy at nature as well.

Another thing I want to discuss is boys, especially boys after break-ups. Why is it that very often when a guys is heartbroken and shit after a break up they have this weird theory that either they'll find another girl really quickly to "cure" them of their broken heart or they'll go into celibacy? I just find that really strange, why can't they just deal with the problem like all other normal GIIIIRLS, be heartbroken and then get over it? Sometimes guys have such weird relationships with girls. For instanse when they have a really good friend who's a girl and maybe even call her they're "twin" it always bothers me like hell! I don't know if I should hate that girl or not. (When I'm dating the guy of course) My 1st boyfriend Nicklas had this really good friend called Rebecca (ugh) who I hated and still do! They're were all like twiiiins and sister and brother and all that crap, it really bothered me! And she was SO on the limit (and so was he), she send pictures of herself wearing really short skirts and her long brown legs.. (bitch), she also send a kind of naked picture, she claims that it wasn't for him and that one of her friends had sent it when she was drunk. I still hated her, and still do. Even though I'm not with that guy anymore I still do not forget stupid girls, places and stuff, but neither do I forget the good things.

About Nicklas. I think I'll to give up, not kidding. My feelings are starting to get tepid. I'm not so sure, I also feel like he has a lot of feelings he's hiding, and the never been in love thing? It's just hard. I have the feeling I'm never going to win with him. But jesus I love that guy, he's amazing. But he might just be as amazing as a friend. (He actually just told me that he prefers to be single because he ignores the girl when they become a couple, he has some inner issues that boy)
I'm kinda getting desperate, I think set my mind on something (Nicklas, kissing etc.) and not getting kind of makes me crazy. The other day I was lying in my bed, thinking about the times when I had a boyfriend. I actually really like being in a relationship, I'm the relationship kind of girl I think. I like getting good memories, having someone to write with and just knowing that I have someone to depend on. Oh how I miss a boyfriend. Anyways, I'll slide, xoxo Elk

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Party report

Hia, so the party is oveeer. It ended Saturday, but for me it ended Friday. Here's the party report, but before the actual report, here's the attendants:
Astrid, Line, Sahra, Benedickte = beeest friends :)
Louise = one of best friends but has changed alot and I don't like being around her when she's drunk.
Johan, BT, Jonathan, Thomas, Simon = random friends.
Niclas = ex boyrfriend 1
Froob = ex boyfriend 2
Kasper = host of the party

I picked up my friend Louise at the station, when we arrived at the party of course it was the exactly same time as Froob arrived. One thing is seeing you ex for the first time after you've broken up, another is seeing his parents. Urgh, awkward! My other friends haven't arrived yet and things are so awkward at the start of a party (for me at least), I like to just get a drink and then people start to relax more. Anyway, after the tense start it was really cosy! As usual, Louise finds some boy to throw herself at (this time Jonathan), I just loved seeing the girls again and chit chatting, dancing to awesome beats and haning out with my best friends! It was really quite touchy and overwhelming to have old friends (Johan and BT) come up to you and be like "it's so good to se you, I've really missed you! I really, REALLY have". Froob had turned out to be really gangstaaa, no hair on his head, a cap and really REALLY baggy pants. When I saw him, I was really really happy I had broken up because UGH! My friends also say that he'd turned really stupid. Seeing Niclas was weird, I know I had planned on scoring him, but I didn't really try actually, I was well satisfied with just having a great time with friends. One guy I could have scored though was Kasper. Kasper is a really nice and adorable friend who loves to hug me. I love to hug him as well :) when we go drunk at these parties everyone just loves eachother and kisses on the cheeks drops like water on a rainy day. Apparantly Kasper got a little TOO drunk and a little TOO lovey and tried to kiss my ear and neck. Also I found out that he'd been grabbing my ass all night, which I didn't realize 'cause I was drunk as well. But the kissing me on neck and ear, that was just wrooong! Poor fellow, he was actually so drunk that he made coffee in an empty chips bag with cold water. He drank it as well, gross! He missed over half the party 'cause he was so drunk he fell asleep. Froob had his own fun trying to.. Wel to be honest, I have no idea was he was trying to do, but he had also been grabbing several of my friends' asses and told Astrid (who's only 13) that she was next. He also tried to flirt really hard with Louise. BT asked me if it didn't bother me, and to be honest it really didn't. I just didn't think he could sink so deep, really really not good style of him. Later on the evening I started to get bad vibes. I always hate waking up the next morning at those parties, so I fled home to Sahra (who had ALL my friends sleeping over as well, minus Louise) where we watched a movie and slept over when the party had died out.

I realized how much I really like Nicklas, and you can't just expect something to happen or try to rush it. I think it's going to be a really tough week in school next week, we also have alot of assigments to turn in and so on. I'm so tired, I desperately need a bath and my neck is all stiff. Parties uses alot of my resources and I miss Nicklas. I just want to go back to school and hang out with hiiiim. Oh well. BYYYYYYYYYYE :D - Elk

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Freedom of speech

He's never been in lover. Never, EVER. Who am I talking about? Nicklas ofc (of course). That might explain a whole lot. I feel fine about it really, I'm more relaxed now because I don't expect him to fall madly in love now, 'cause he never has. Actually it kind of relives me.

I haven't been eating as much for the past couple of days and tonight I ate a normal portion and my stomach hurts really bad 'cause I'm not used to it xD
Anyway, what I actually want to talk about today is loyalty. I've always been a very loyal person, to friends, boyfriends, family etc but there are just some times where you really REALLY feel like you need to be extra loyal! For instanse, one of my friends is getting an abortion and when she found out she asked me to go with her (in the biting cold) when I was laaaaazy and buy alcohol (which isn't allowed on school premises) and even though I was doing something else, OF COURSE I went! She needed me. And don't say everybody would do that, 'cause she asked another friend of hers that was fully aware of the situation who said no. I have another friend who something awful happened to last night and I told her, no matter what she could come to me, she could count on me to sleep on the floor so that she could get my bed. I think that it's in the really hard times you know your friends. I think it's important to be loyal. Next to love, loyalty and trust are the most important things in life, but loyalty and trust is also some of the biggest parts of love.

I'm so nervous I could puke! Maybe that's really why my stomach hurts? I'm going to this party (I've been talking about) tomorrow where some of my ex-boyfriends, all of them actually (only 2 >.<'') is coming as well. Luckily I'm not one of those girls who goes all crazy about that and HAS to look INCREDIBLE and sexy. I'm extremely nervous, yes, but I also know it's going to be great time because my 1st ex and I always talk like great friends when we get a little drink, despite of what's happened. AND ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS ARE COMING!!!! I haven't seen them for FAR too long so I really miss them and look forward to just chillin', talking, drinking and smoking :D I think the whole thing with friends is weird, no no I mean OLD friends. Because right now where I am, I have awesome friends, but there will always be something incredibly special about OLD friends, remember the good OLD times? ;)
I think that in the start of getting back together it's a bit weird, because all of you have changed but then when some time has passed it's like the good old days :D Omg. I'M LOOKING SO MUCH FORWARD TO IT!

Anyway, I've gotta do a math assignment for tomorrow :) cya l8er, xo Elk

Sunday, 16 January 2011


Ouch. I've been hit so hard. Hit with love, just one big bitch slap right across my face. We hang out all the time and touch each other (non-dirty places)and sometimes we're so close to kissing it hurts. I had my shot today, why I did nothing I don't know. Fml (fuck my life). I want to text with him all the time and be with him all the time but we can't of course and I don't want to seem really needy and desperate. I go all melancholic when he's not here :(

I have haooy news though *yaaaay*. I was at Marie's pad this weekend, it was aweesome and we baked the most awesome chocolate cupcakes, yummy! Also we played some kind of singstar game and I totally failed ;D her father videoed us soo, just waiting for that to pop up on youtube going viral. "Danish girls sing false, ROFL". Also my favorite rapper is coming out with a new album in February so reaaaaaly looking forward to that! Also today I was with my roomie and her mother to some kind of drawing course, it was soooo coool :D here's some pics.

That's my roomie drawing. She's awfully good to be honest.

That's my roomie holdning up my unfinished drawing of Mike from Monsters Inc. (Still haven't finished it, but have intentions to)

That's Winnie The Pooh drawn by the teacher.

Also check out that awfully scary pig sculpture outside of the house where the course was hosted. THAT WAS REALLY SCARY! It's face looked like that (picture) and it was human size dressed in a trench coat. On it, the plate said something with "fear this bla bla". Spooky!

So on friday I'm going to a party with LOVELY PEOPLE from my old school! :D girlfriends yeeeah ;D and some other also extremely awesome people from old school. We're having like a re-union a couple of times a year because we party really awesome :)
I know for a fact that my ex is coming, and presumeably also my OTHER ex, so for me it's going to be like a "se your old friends and every ex boyfriend you've ever had" party, aaaaaawesome. Anyway, I have this really crazy wish to score my FIRST ex (as I've mentioned a couple of times). Don't think I'm cheap because I think I've actually figured out why! *yaay* my hypothesis is that because I'm crazy in love with Nicklas (and not really getting anywhere) I need to feel a bit of success or just some letting out some energy, and apparently this is going to go out on my ex. To be honest I'm pretty sure I can score him because at every party there's been we've been fliritng really bad and been close to, DOING stuff but the only thing that had stopped me was that I would not let him get the satisfaction of seeing me cheat on my boyfriend like I did with him. Now, there's nothing stopping me, not even being in love. I'm stills single and I have a craving to let out some steam! I rarely say this, but I'm looking SO much forward to getting really drunk and doing crazy shit. I'll give a report when the party's over. Wish me luck, and don't judge.

- xo Elk

Thursday, 13 January 2011


Damn. *smack* I've been struck by love, hard. I'm so gone in love. He is so amazing and happy and *sighs*. Sorry, I don't mean to bother anyone with the details, poor you. Today it was assigned which Americans is going to stay where. We're having an exchange class over in February and it's very exciting, I'm looking forward to it which is odd because I'm normally more withdrawn, but I guess love does crazy shit to you.

"It's obvious even to a blind man" a quote I stumbled over a last Monday when My friend Marie told me it. I love it, it's awesome.
A matter of fact the boy I'm in love with has just entered my room. I had to turn my screen. Omg.. He makes me so happy goddamnit!! I'm reaching the point where I'm kind of tired telling my friends that I'm in love. It's just, every time I tell them, maybe because I've just been with him and I go really happy they always say to me "tell him" or "get him drunk and start flirting really hard" and if I say I just wanna kiss his sugar soft lips they go all like "I just wanna kiss him" they always say "then do it!". AND YOU CAN'T JUST DO IT!!!!! That's just not how it works, at least that's not how it's ever worked for me.. Anyways they say (my friends) that it's obvious even to a blind man that I'm crazy about him and the other way around.

I've been really filled with happiness from hanging out with him this afternoon so I just danced around listening to really loud music on my MP3 and had the funniest time ever. I swear I danced and rocked so hard the temperature rose and it stank like sweat. I can't wait 'till tomorrow, I'm going to sleep over at my friend Marie's house. Can't wait 'till the 21st January where there's a party. I really can't wait to just get a drink, laugh my ass off with the girls and have a good time with my homeboys. Can't wait 'till I go to sleep so that I can dream of kissing.. With Nicklas :D

Gotta slide xo Elk :)<3

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Who's most important?

So, I've noticed lately that people have been speaking to me, and the someone else spoke to that person WHILE I was talking. What then happens is that the person I talked to just starts to talk to that other person and just drops the conversation. What's up with that??! Is my conversation not important enough or something? Thats odd. And it's started to happen more and more. That is by far the weirdest thing ever. Now how I normally handle that type of conversation is that I talk to someone, then someone else starts talking to me I hold my hand up in front of them so they'll stop talking, but still know that I want to hear what they have to say afterwards.

So today has been kind of weird. I felt incredibly tired after the last classes we had today so I went home and read on in "Perfect Chemistry" by Simone Elkels. I love the story its amazing, well written, exciting and sweet. It makes me smile and fills my heart with love. But when I close the book it reminds me off how messed up my mind has been lately. I really REALLY like Nicklas I do! But I don't know whether I'm actually in love with him or if I'm just being really weird and confused. I'm so tired and confused of thinking about it, it depresses me more to work it out than it makes me happy. Maybe is not that, that takes my energy away. I've been really tired this week and had to write into my dayplanner to have 'TIME OF MY OWN RELAXING' because I used ALL of my energy last monday which just resulted in me being tired and easily annoyed and this whole changing class thing is kind of tearing my energy. And my friend told me a really horrible new last night so I'm terribly worried about her and want to support her as good as I can!

Right well today after school I was washing my laundry and I'm sure someone tried to kill me!

These icepicks were hanging on the building AND over the door.. Ugh! Creepy. I know the don't show up very big on the picture, and I must admit I'v seen bigger but they were still pretty creepy... And sharp!

Oh yeah! Note to self, put more pictures on blog.
- Elk

Delete that ex!

Hia. So I guess breaking up is always hard. Especially if you've been really close, if you hung out all the time and you have all of your things around all over you partners place or you've got alot of your partners stuff laying everywhere. Maybe you even got some great gifts from that partner. And then you break up. How should you deal with these things, laying around just reminding you of the times that used to be. I guess I'm the weird one here, most people would just say throw out the gifts you got, but I don't know. I've kept them all. I wasn't too many though ;). For instance my last ex boyfriend gave me a pillow and a scarf, and whenever I had it I felt really close to him. But then we kind of fell apart and I didn't really feel close to him anymore when hugging the pillow, to be honest it took me about a week or so to remember it was even the pillow he gave me. I wondered whether I should throw it away or keep it. I decided to keep it. The hardest things to do with exes for me is the pictures you have of each other. But with my latest ex, it doesn't seem hard for me to delete them. A matter of fact I haven't been too sad about it at all and I reckon that I just stayed in a relationship for two years that and to when we were just to weeks in it was crap.

Now with my very first ex, Niclas, it's something entirely different. Niclas meant an awful lot to me and he gave me a necklace with a heart on it and a silver ring. I stopped wearing it when we broke up, but recently I started wearing the ring again. Also the pictures, the really cute, tender and beautiful pictures I have of us, I just can't seem to delete. I've been thinking about this ever since we broke up, that it was a mistake and I don't know if I've come over him yet. Lately I've actually been thinking about scoring him again. Getting back together with him puts a smile on my face.

Generally I'm just really confused at the moment. There's this guy who's come into school this year, his name is Nicklas. (Yes I know :s ) aaaaanyway he's really adorable and I'm crazy about him. Now, I wrote 'crazy' because I'm confused of how I feel about him. He's really great and awesome and all that and I notice us teasing each other all the time and me acting really.. Puppy-in-love-ish when I'm with him. But when I'm on my own and just sitting in my room thinking, I don't know if I have a crush on him.

Oh well, gotta slide, it's cleaning day at school today.
- Elk